Invoking extraordinary powers granted after the 1929 stock market crash, the United States Government seized control
of rotten AIG insurance group Wednesday.
U.S. Federal Reserve Bank Bails Out OJ
Thought he was just another, excessively risky financial institution going belly-up.
written by Jill The Shill, 17 September 2008
According to a new poll of American Talk Radio Programs,
John McCain has been voted America's Most Charismatic
GOP Presidential Candidate since Herbert Hoover.
Lagasse Reveals Recipe
On tomorrow's ABC's "Good Morning America" Show, Emeril Lagasse plans to reveal the secret recipe of how the Brits make "Beans on Toast".
Cult Suicide In London
In London, 128 members of a secret society committed suicide after watching Al Gore's movie, "An Inconvenient
Truth". Police say families of the "Pollyanna People" are now being told of the incident.
Parker Bros. Could Also Be In Trouble
London staff members were told to go back home yesterday as Lehman Brothers went into bankruptcy. Meanwhile, Parker Brothers Monopoly stated they failed to Pass Go during the second quarter.
Obama Dismisses VP
Barack Obama dismissed Joe Biden from his VP ticket this morning and replaced him with Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The two will immediately go on a tour called, "America's Chickens Coming Home To Roost".
Wind Power Update
Scientists say they are nearing completion of a simple backyard windmill that will produce enough energy to run
every ceiling fan in your home.
A new series of Hisory programmes, will be written by Russell T. Davies. It will be called Dr When? Dr Where? a tourism prgrame, will replace Wish you were here in the Autumn.
A man in Arizona has found a version of the 3rd Testament on a CD in a hole in his back-garden. Police and Religious experts are looking into it.
In a bid to boost Tourism in Britain, tourism chiefs have developed a range of ground based clouds. Most people refer to them as Sheep, but then, what do they know?
Scientists have revealed that Blue M&M's taste no different to the green ones, in a scientifically controlled blind taste test.
Kermit the Frog
Kermit the Frog, beloved Muppet of the 1970's has revealed his love for Sarah Palin.
Research and Development at Wilkinson Sword stopped the design of their new 99 blade razor, saying that it is too top heavy, and the handle is not long enough to support the design of it properly.
Fear of secrets? Fear of Fire? Fear of telephones? Fear of the present? Call our confidential hotline NOW!
written by Midgetgems, 17 September 2008
Murder she wrote?
Jessica Fletcher, well known TV detective has denied reports that she has gone soft in her old age, and says that the newest books title 'A slight disagreement she wrote' is purely a co-incidence.
A new term to describe fear of being without a mobile phone has been introduced. The word is 'pathetic'.
written by Midgetgems, 17 September 2008
Patriots Caught Filming Again
In sports news, the New England Patriots have once again been accused of secretly taping an opponent. This time it's the N.Y. Jet's Brett Favre wearing tight jeans, and selling them to female fans.
New Product From Larry King
Nighttime CNN host Larry King has patented his "Old People's Smell" in spray cans to sell to underage drinkers
to use before going into liquor stores.
McCain Credits Dole
Republican presential nominee, John McCain told reporters yesterday that he credits Bob Dole for his sudden rise in the poll. "He recommended these little purple pills", stated the Senator.
Dan Rather Book Tells All
A new book by fired CBS anchorman Dan Rather reveals that CBS actually stands for the "Collective Bull Shit" network.
New Washington DC Rumour
A new rumour around Washington is that Republicans are holding back their display of Osama Bin Laden's head until the week before the November elections.
St. Pete Pick-Pockets
Police in St. Petersburg, Florida are reporting several victims of pick-pockets at the two nudist colonies located there.
"Momas for Obama" Protest Palin Colorado Appearance!
The group known as "MF's", also love Jesse Jackson, Eliot Spitzer, Gary Hart, John Edward's, JFK, and all wide receivers in the NFL. MF's vote Democratic, claiming they have never been laid off.
Report: Barbara Streisand Looks Down Her Nose at Palin!
In keeping with her Liberal Leanings, IT WAS A LONG, HARD LOOK....but the former Hilary Supporter was willing to cut off her nose to spite her face and host an Obama fundraiser anyway...Good Move!
Democrats to Replace Presidential Candidate with Mickey Mouse
In an election year when the "in" party is perceived as having done a poor job, the "out" party should be able to run Mickey Mouse and win.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 September 2008
Americans Buy Bigger Mattresses
The extra space is needed, as money is removed from failing financial institutions and tucked underneath mattresses for safekeeping.
written by Gail Farrelly, 17 September 2008
Hottie Palin Leaves Obama Speechless When Introduced at UN!
The scrappy Governor got right to the point, "Senator, I see you have a bone to pick with me....or are you just happy to meet me?" Wags noted Obama shrank 4 more inches in the poles and turned pale.