They Do Take VISA
A 1965 graduate of Harvard Business Institute has just donated $125 million to the school. The man's name is Hansjorg Wyss, which is pronounced, (Lot$A MONey)
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
Mission Accomplished
President George W. Bush announces "Mission Accomplished" as democrats ready to take over House, Senate and Presidency in 2009.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Trouble In Lancaster County, Pa.
Police in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania say they believe a recent suicide buggy bomber, who blew up a feed store there, to be Amish.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Black Belt Vladimir Putin
New video shows Judo black belt Vladimir Putin showing off moves in white outfit, then all dressed up and "Putin on the Ritz".
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
And The Oscar Goes To...Brigitte Bardot
Brigitte Bardot calls Sarah Palin a disgrace to women. McCain reportedly replies, "My friends, I've dated Brigitte Bardot, she kinda resembles my Cindy...except for the wrinkles and the 3,000 pets.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
That's A Lot of Meowing
A total of 86 cats were rescued from a two-bedroom condo in Colorado. The 86 cats have now been placed in a three-bedroom duplex in New Hampshire.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
Like A Virgin Material Girl
Madonna says that she dislikes Sarah Palin so much that she does not want her attending any of her concerts...and then she added, "and that goes for Tina Fey also!"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
Pink Party?
Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME: The Gay / NRA Party MOTTO:... We're here, we're queer...YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2008
Another Party!
Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME:The Keg Party MOTTO:... Dude, we could so totally run the country.
written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2008
A fair cop Guv?
A car thief who had his name and date of birth tattooed on his neck was caught after CCTV images of him were used to track him down. He was almost released by the court - his name was spelt wrong
written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2008
Sarah Palin's New Dress Code
McCain is worried because he is struggling in states that Bush won. He plans to tell Sarah that instead of campaigning in dresses and pantsuits, he now wants her in halter tops and short shorts.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
Yet another new party
Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME: The Cocktail Party MOTTO:... Cock and Tail - does it get any better than this?
written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2008
Professional 'Hombres Malos' (Bad Men)
Armed men stole five small planes from a private airstrip in the Mexican state of Sinaloa...gosh it seems like only yesterday they were stealing burros.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
Teeth Wonkening All-The-Rage
Americans, wishing to embrace their English heritage, are shunning the perfect teeth ideal and getting their teeth blacked up and pushed out of place so they can be more like their quaint cousins.
written by Mark, 07 October 2008
Man Fined After Buying Apples with Coupon
He came a cropper after giving one to his wife. "The coupon was clearly marked 'non-transferable'," the coupon issuer whined. "By using it to feed his wife, he was in breach of contract."
written by Mark, 07 October 2008
Source of all life on Earth found
A seriously mouldy coffee cup, believed to be over 4bn years old, was found in a crater in Mexico. Thought to be the origin of all life, it was inscribed with the words Mars University EarthCon'08.
written by Mark, 07 October 2008
Man climbs stairway to heaven
The man (83), with a penchant for death-metal music, sadly died of a heart attack at the top and had to walk back down again to get to hell. Poor bloke.
written by Mark, 07 October 2008
Girl, 5, With Half a Brain Survives, Amazes Family
Oh, YEAH? The United States of America has been run for 8 years by a president with half a brain and, what, THAT'S no big deal?!
written by TomFoolery, 07 October 2008
NASA Plans Livestock Farm on Moon
"Mating may be a bit of an issue," commented a NASA boffin. "With the low gravity, those sheep are gonna be much taller, and I don't think I'll be able to reach without a stool."
written by Mark, 07 October 2008
Man eats couch potato
A man has entered the record books after eating a 400lb couch potato. He had carved the 8ft by 6ft vegetable into a sofa for him and his family, but decided to eat it one day because he felt hungry.
written by Mark, 07 October 2008
Nepal's New Goddess
Nepal appoints three-year-old as new living goddess. She immediately orders one hundred pounds of candy and a pony.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
McCain Linked To Iran/Contra
John McCain linked to private group in Iran/Contra case by Obama. Also, Teapot Dome Scandal and the Thomas Jefferson/Sally Hemings Affair.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
The 'March of The Penguins Part II - Brazil?'
370 penguins who swam up to Brazil were put on a cargo plane and flown back south. The wayward penguins were furious since they really wanted to go north and join the NHL's Pittsburgh Penguins.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
Trekkies Excited
Over 50,000 Trekkies simultaneously shit their pants Monday as a UFO lands near the Rose Garden outside the White House.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
One In Four Mammals Doomed
Conservationists have taken the first detailed look at the world in more than a decade and the news isn't good. "One out of four mammals are doomed to extinction", reported one doomed Scientist.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Elephant on the loose: republicans suspected
Washington police have recaptured a bull elephant that had escaped from a circus after a 12 hour chase. Law officers have not ruled out John McCain as a chief suspect in elephant's escape.
written by whatinthe world, 07 October 2008
U.S. Magazines Struggling
U.S. magazines, struggling to think up anything they can accuse presidential candidates of doing, gave it a rest after the "Jupitor-Born Obama, Pregnant" fiasco.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Tuna Study Revealing
Researchers announced yesterday that a ten year study shows that tuna swim across the Atlantic. Apparently, before the study, they thought they hitched a ride on humpback whales.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Front Row Stunned
Those with front row seats got more than they bargained for during a Rolling Stone concert when Mick Jagger ripped one off during "Jumpin' Jack Flash is a Ga-ga-gas"!
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Man Doesn't Listen To Good Advice
Man whose friends all told him he would need more than one bathroom while building his house, creates contemporary one in closet as he awaits his turn with wife and three daughters.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Circumcisions Down
A new report by Google Earth reports that the number of circumcisions around the earth are down nearly 10% over their up-close sweep two years ago.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
French Warning
The French government warns customers at exquisite French restaurants against using too much salt on their "escargot a la bourguingnon".
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
McCain Gain
John McCain is starting to gain among younger voters as the old P.O.W. Warhorse impresses them by shrugging off being tasered during recent rallies.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Cadbury Bunny Dies
The Cadbury Bunny has passed away at the age of 35, apparently due to a build-up of melamine mixed into the chocolate in China. His replacement to be named later by Cadbury President Peter Cottontail.
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Springsteen Rocks For Omama
Bruce Springsteen rocks Obama rally in Philadelphia performing hit song "Born To Run" and ending with "Blinded By The Light".
written by Bureau, 07 October 2008
Party? What Party?
Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME: The Private Party MOTTO:... No comment.
written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2008
Porno Party?
Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME: The Mouth Party MOTTO:... And you're invited to cum.
written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2008
It's another party...
Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME: The Crack Party MOTTO:... We're split down the middle.
written by IN SEINE, 07 October 2008
Presidential Pundits Pander Plethora of Political Puns
Republicans attest, "An Obama nation would be an abomination and we should not be Biden our time." Democrats describe McCain as "insane in the membrane" and warn "we would be failin' with Palin."
written by TomFoolery, 07 October 2008
35% of Blackberry users would choose device over spouse
However, Palm, Inc. quickly pointed out that long before the popular Blackberry, many preferred their Palm to their spouse -- with spouse giving husband his first Blackberry - usually, two of them.
written by Judge Retort, 07 October 2008
Clay is gay - comes out of the closet
Changing his name 'Clay' to 'Play-Doh'. Note to friends in Hawaii: Don't worry, he'll still go by 'Poi George.' And in San Francisco, don't get so upset! He'll stay 'Clay' for old time's sake.
written by Judge Retort, 07 October 2008
Free Refills
A leading petroleum chain is offering its customers free refills at their stations. For as long as you stay on site, you can refill as often as you like!
written by Mark, 07 October 2008
Biden knocks Palin's "maverick" credentials
Joe Biden to Sarah Palin: Governor, I knew Bret and Governor, I worked with Bart. Governor, Bret and Bart were friends of mine. Governor, you're no Maverick.
written by PP Rega, 07 October 2008
The Brazen Bra Bandit
Florida bra bandit steals 160 bras valued at $6,000 from Victoria's Secret. Police vow that the thief will be busted.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 October 2008
McCain to Obama "lets stop talking about economy"
McCain wants to focus on other issues like the "War on Terror" or "Global Warming", just something use to avoid losing more points in the polls
written by disciple, 07 October 2008
Obama surges in polls
He responded by saying "you can call me daddy"
written by disciple, 07 October 2008
