Iran's President Ahmadinejad said Sunday his sudden collapse was due to exhaustion. However, those close to the President and still alive, say he saw a gay Iranian.
Hillary The Expert
Senator Hillary Clinton says that she believes that John McCain is lying when he says he voted against George Bush several times. "And, believe me, I know when a man is lying!"
Joe the Plumber
Joe the Plumber, a hero to republicans for asking Obama a tough question, has been asked to sing the National Anthem at this year's first "Toilet Bowl" in New Orleans, December 30th.
Comedienne Jo Brand is disgusted with her namesake's appalling telephone prank, so-much-so that she is considering changing her name. She will definitely rule out 'Ross' though.
Evil Brand gets Sached
When evil, foul-mouthed comic, Russell Brand tried to phone Spanish waiter, Manuel in Barcelona, all he got on the answerphone was "¿qué?"
Do You Have a 2009 Calendar?
A bank robber held up a bank in Irving, Texas and escaped in a black Limousine getaway car. So now, he'll be able to keep making the monthly payments on his Rolex, his yacht, and his getaway car!
Carbon Footprint Reduction Estimates Fantasy
Carbon footprint science clots today admitted that publicizing carbon reduction information is producing more of the crap than affecting its reduction.
written by Rusty, 27 October 2008
Needle Location Confirmed
Google Earth reports that the needle is in the bottom left side, about a foot off the ground, in the haystack.
Gays Approved For Military
Three Fourths of Americans now say gays should be allowed to serve in the military. However, they should try to keep their activities undercover.
Abu Dhabi Attempts Recordbreaker
Abu Dhabi announced that they have now completed their planning stage and will now begin to build the world's tallest outhouse.
Lincoln Celebration Scheduled
Louisville Courier Journal: 2009 is the 200th birthday of Abraham Lincoln and will be celebrated, especially in Ky. and Ill. "Just think, it took only 200 years for a black to become president."
Washington Insiders say that a secret meeting has occurred between leaders of the House and Senate on the possible Obama presidency. "With those ears, he'll hear everything we say", stated one.
"Mutilated" lady admits that her report, that she was attacked because she was working for the McCain campaign,
was false. "I'm just another John McCain Groupie who wanted to experience his torture."
Tina Fey Now Third
Tina Fey has already received over 10,000 write-in votes among early voters, according to an unnamed source. She now leads Ralph Nader by 9,999.
Hari Kari Epidemic
New York Times: The hari-kari epidemic has already spread from Japanese investors into Britain, America, China and Italy. But the French, no such luck.
McCain Guarantees Outcome
John McCain guaranteed his followers Sunday that he would win next Tuesday's contest. He also guaranteed his campaign checks would quit bouncing if people held onto them for a couple of more weeks.
A passenger on a French train had to be rescued after having his arm sucked down the on-board toilet. He had dropped his mobile phone in the pan. "It was crap and a bog standard model". he said.
Sarah Palin's Most Embarrassing Moment
Alaska's largest newspaper, The Anchorage Daily News has endorsed Barack Obama. Sarah Palin replied, "I told Johnny, he told Cindy, and Cindy's gonna buy it and turn it into a salmon processing plant.
Can You Say Lorena Bobbitt?
A Wisconsin man's girlfriend denied him sex. So he urinated on her dog. So he's pissed, the dog is pissed, his girlfriend is pissed...and she can't wait to give her boyfriend oral sex. (OUCH!)
Brangelina to Adopt Miley?
Brangelina have decided to buy a child on ebay, since that process is much shorter than adoption. They put in a bid for Miley and her dad said "Take her for free, I've made enough money off her."
written by Vera, 27 October 2008