Oprah to become ambassador to St. James Court.
It was announced today that Oprah Winfrey will become the US Ambassador to England in an Obama administration. The English government hastily passed a law which would allow blacks into Parliament.
written by Orvis Talbot, 25 October 2008
Reports of Obama Triplets Under Investigation! Who's Who?
GOP trying to figure out which one they are running against: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, or Fuck You! Fox News says they figured it out a long time ago!
written by unknown
Pelosi "in the tank". Meet "Charlie The Tuna"
Speaker Pelosi cut $33m tax deal for Somoa as well as canning minimum wage hike for Star Kist Somoan workers...l week later owner Del Monte with SF HQ in Pelosi district sells to S. Korea company!
written by unknown
Twelve Years of Bush (Ouch!)
Senator Barack Obama says that John McCain is just like President Bush. Bush fired back, "Senator Alabama don't you ever compare me to that loser McSame, I mean McCain again, you hear?"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2008
What The Heck Is Moose Candy?
It's Halloween time. Joe Biden was asked what's the scariest costume McCain could wear. And Biden replied, "That would have to be the Sarah Palin costume, that one scares the hell out of me."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2008
Yes, I'll Have Fries With That
American companies are scrambling for a piece of that $700 billion bailout. At the head of the line is the CEO of the McDonald's corporation, who stated, "Hey have you priced sesame seeds lately?"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2008
Something Smells Fishy In Seattle
Seven orca whales are missing from Seattle's Puget Sound. Police are interrogating the owner of Seattle's newest restaurant, 'Ollie's Orcaburgers.'
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2008
It's Official!
British Summer Time has been CANCELLED, because here in Britain, we have had no summer.... YET!
written by IN SEINE, 25 October 2008
The Rifleman Staring Chuck Connors
McCain is very tired of campaigning. He tells Sarah, "I don't know if I'm John McCain or Lucas McCain." Sarah answers, "John I've seen Lucas in 'Rifleman' reruns, and John you ain't no Lucas McCain."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2008
Sarah GOPalin Will Do Whatever It Takes
The Latest Newsweek poll shows Obama with 53% and McCain with 40%. McCain told Palin, "Sarah, my friend, we are desperate, so starting tomorrow you will be campaigning in a skimpy bikini swimsuit."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2008
Obama's dying white grandmother will be supporting McCain in election
"Are you kidding! I couldn't vote for a jungle bunny for president, even if he is family. Those spearchuckers would have watermelon seed spitting contests off the oval office balcony!"
written by unknown
Stench Clears London Airport
London City Airport was briefly evacuated yesterday when an overpowering toilet stench filled the air. However, once it was traced to the arrival from an Old Farts Convention, it was easily aired out.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2008
Man Draws Nation's Attention
A report out of Kansas City, Kansas says that a man crossing the United States in a horse and buggy claims he is doing so to bring attention to the nation's silly Amish.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2008
LBJ Still Champion
In a new Gallup Poll conducted last week, Barack Obama's ears barely lost to those of Lyndon Johnson's Texas-sized whoppers for "Presidential Candidate With Biggest Ears Ever."
written by Bureau, 25 October 2008
Keeping Up Appearances
The Republican Party has admitted that they have now spent over $150,000 on keeping Sarah Palin looking like the average Soccer/Hockey Mom.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2008
Arafat Affair
In a new book release, author Hans Shultz reveals that longtime Palestian Leader, Yasser Arafat, once had an affair with Gaza Gabor.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2008
Cheney Still Out There
The Washington Post is reporting that Hilary Clinton is attempting to "Save Face" by being reconciled to Barack Obama, Joe Biden and a shotgun-toting Dick Cheney.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2008
96-Year-Old The First
A 96-year-old resident of the New Lakeview Nursing Home in North Carolina has become the oldest person on record to sneak into the front office at night and copy his ass.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2008
A Beyonce By Any Other Name
Beyonce has christened herself, 'Sasha Fierce' and she wants people to call her by that name. When Michael Jackson heard about it he said, "Okay and I want people to call me LaQuisha Timid."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2008
