Stronger Warnings on Impotence Drugs

Funny story written by Tyler Durden

Thursday, 20 October 2005

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Stronger Warnings on Impotence Drugs

Washington (Spoof) - Advocates from a U.S. consumer protection group called Public Citizen filed a petition with the Food and Drug Administration calling for a black box warning to appear prominently on all labels of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra warning patients with erectile dysfunction that use of the product may cause blindness.

In response to the petition, Pfizer, the company that manufactures Viagra, issued a public announcement stating, "Information regarding potential side effects of Viagra have been available to public for a number of years. There is no reason to believe that a new label will deter people from using the product."

Patient Robert G√ľnter, 67, who regularly uses Cialis stated, "I realize the risks of its use, but I don't think I'll stop right now. I'll probably continue taking Cialis, but just until I need glasses."

None of the companies producing erectile dysfunction medication would accept blame for the 1,000 to 6,000 U.S. cases of sudden blindness that may be linked to the ever popular libido enhancement medication. However, Pfizer did state that blindness could result from the misuse of the product, which is intended primarily to enhance the sexual experience between two people. Pfizer also noted that other side effects could result from use of their product when patients do not have a sexual partner, such as hairy palms and a sense of low self esteem.

In July the FDA advised patients to discontinue the use of impotence medication in the event they suffered from a temporary decrease in vision. However, most patients defiantly continued using their impotency drugs even after they experience visual impairments from their use. Dr. Mitch Edwards, Director for the Senior Impotence Research Center, stated, "Most of the patients who come to our clinic are in their golden years and our research has shown that our patients believe it enhances their sexual experience if they can't see what their partner actually looks like during intercourse."

Dr. Sidney Wolfe, director of Public Citizen's Health Research Group, was quoted as saying, "The agency has once again failed in this responsibility. These drugs need much stronger warnings, especially a black box warning such as the one we have proposed. And of course, brail for those already afflicted."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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