Biggest ever Spider fossil is a tiddler!

Funny story written by Gary Potter

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

image for Biggest ever Spider fossil is a tiddler!
A Spider

The biggest spider fossil ever discovered has been found in China. Yet it is a real tiddler!

Evolutionists claim that the spider is a relative of the Golden Orb Spider, which grows to approximately 15cm. However, the fossil specimen is a mere 5cm.

Dawkin Richards, evolution fundamentalist said "Although we have been searching for the fabled missing links for over 150 years without any success whatsoever, at least we have a spider which looks just like a modern species. It shows no signs of evolutionary change over the 165 million years which shows us that the spider must have been happy as it was and so didn't bother mutating"

An actual scientist had this to say:

"We must treat evolutionist claims with a rather large pinch of salt. Firstly they claim that the specimen lay undisturbed for thousands of years without rotting or being scavenged whilst they imagine the fossilisation process took place.

"The figure of 165 million years is totally without any basis outside the framework of evolutionary theory. As the specimen is so similar to the ones you find in the wild or a zoo, there is absolutely no reason to assume it is anything other than a modern spider. Perhaps the most surprising thing is how small it is.

"According to evolutionary cult teaching, millions of years ago they claim that the oxygen rich atmosphere was part of the reason why dinosaurs grew so big. Yet this is smaller than modern day spiders, the exact opposite of what you would expect"

(Reporters note: what you would expect if you are an evolutionist)

Undeterred, as always, the befuddled evolutionists continue looking for the fossils they claim are unneccessary to prove evolution ever happened.

A supposed science journal, when commenting on the unexpectedly tiny fossil, finished on this optimistic note 'All of which suggests that there are some much bigger fossil spiders out there, waiting to be discovered.'

You have to admire their optimism!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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