Written by IainB

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

image for The Discovery Institute want 'Science' removed from the dictionary
Science, its spelt rong, init?

The Discovery Institute, having failed to have Intelligent (*cough* Creationism *cough*) Design taught in schools, has instead requested that the word 'science' is removed from every English dictionary.

"It is an affront," said Bill Dembski, the nom-de-plume of William A. Dembski. "Everybody knows that the grammatical rule is 'I' Before 'E' Except After 'C'. Science contravenes this very basic rule, and must therefore be considered generally incorrect. We can use the same rule to get rid of all foreigners and atheists!"

Richard Dawkins, the most staunch critic of Intelligent (*cough* Creationism *cough*) Design was reluctant to be drawn into an argument with Dembski.
"The man's a fool of the highest order," he said after several pints of Cambridge's finest ales. "Every school child knows that there's loads of words that the rule doesn't cover. Like 'their', 'being' and 'conscience'. Stephen Fry said more words break the rule than follow it. I saw that on QI, it's a good program that, but I don't dare appear on it!"

Dembski for his part knows of the other words. "Would it be a bad thing if people didn't have consciences? Although, we would have to make an exception for omniscience. That's an important tenet of Intelligent (*cough* Creationism *cough*) Design."

Dawkins had one parting remark before leaving the pub. "Did you know that William A Dembski is an anagram of 'milks media bi-law' or 'I am slime-bawl, kid'?" after giggling for a while he added: "It's also an anagram of 'was like a mid-limb', which makes him sound like a dick, doesn't it?"

Dembski replied: "Well, well, Richard Dawkins is an anagram of 'Did Shirk Wancar'!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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