Evolutionary Optimists

Written by Gary Potter

Thursday, 14 April 2011

image for Evolutionary Optimists
A tall building, not unlike the one that a bloke fell off

It is ironic that the religion, which has been the root cause of the most mass slaughter of the 20th century, evolution, along with its bed fellow atheism, is in fact thought to encourage optimism!

Read our fun packed article to discover why!


Evolution - claims that absolutely nothing at will explode for no reason whatsoever, which in turn creates time, natural laws, and all the matter in the universe. This dead matter somehow 'comes alive' and gradually turns from 'simple' single celled organisms into hugely complex multi-cellular organisms capable of making up such unscientific drivel.

Atheism - despite the skeptically claimed fact that you cannot prove a negative, atheists claim just that! Atheists claim that there is no God.

Despite their seemingly gloomy outlook of the relentless, often painful, but inevitable one directional march to the grave, followed by decomposition and an eternity of nothingness, the evolutionists and atheists often feign a jolly exterior.

Scientists have traced this down to their flawed and backward view of reality.

Sid Montgomery Rumpole-Burns, top neurologist and all round good egg told us "Evolutionists think that natural laws behave in the opposite way to how science proves they actually do work, so it is not surprising that this leads to faulty conclusions.

Take this book for instance. (He held up a rather large book). If I release this book from several feet from the ground, the normal person would expect it to fall to the floor. Whereas an evolutionist must anticipate that there is a chance, albeit a mathematically improbable chance, that the book will defy gravity.

This rank stupidity is the result of their fuzzy thought processes and unqualified optimism. It starts with the arcane idea that life can appear by itself.

People in the middle ages used to think that a pile of clothes left in a corner of a house would produce rats. Spontaneous generation. Evolutionists still believe this fable. Scientists have proved that this is not the case many times over, yet evolutionists flatly refuse to accept this scientific fact. Despite all attempts to purposefully create life in the lab, every single attempt has resulted in complete dismal failure. Normal people faced with a success rate of 0% would conclude, OK, fair cop, life does not come from non-life. Yet evolutionists cling to the folly that it happened just once, billions of years ago, when no-one was looking, somehow, by random chance. This means that despite all the compelling evidence of gravity, evolutionists are forced to accept that there is a remote chance that gravity could fail on just one occasion and the book will float.

They also hold to the potty idea that genetic mutations benefit a species. We know of over 4,500 genetic diseases, which are certainly not considered benefits to the sufferers, compare this to the zero evidence in favour of beneficial mutation. Evolution is intellectual buffoonery."

This flawed sense of over optimism has lead to several unfortunate cases.

Rumpole-Burns continued "There was a scaffolder from Avon-on-the-kneecap who flouted health and safety rules and was working 600ft up a towerblock without a safety harness. He was an evolutionist. He pompously argued with his colleagues that the billions to 1 chance of gravity failing were worth the risk, until he fell with an ungainly splat to the floor.

Another troubled evolutionist developed a tumour. Despite the opinions of all the medical professionals, the patient decided upon taking no treatment, believing that the tumour, a cancerous mutation, would infact transform into another useful appendage. Needless to say, beneficial mutations only happen to superheroes and in fairly stories. The lady is now very much dead."

Look out for the next part of our series, which explores the harm caused to children by forcing the unqualified atheistic worldview on them. It will be quite a hoot!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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