Egypt loses the internet - again!

Written by IainB

Monday, 14 February 2011

image for Egypt loses the internet - again!
Even the Spoof went down under the weight of the Egyptians

Under Mubarek, the Egyptian access to the World Wide Web was removed forcing the population to resort to dial-up access to external ISPs, using satellite and faxing.

The military regime in temporary charge of the country turned the internet back on at five this morning, only for it to crash spectacularly three hours later.

"What can I say?" said Lemus Oranje, the new head of the Technology Ministry in Cairo. "The entire populace went on line between seven and eight this morning to access their Facebook profiles, Twitter feeds and Flickr accounts. The communication lines could not cope."

Not only Egypt was affected, as millions worldwide noticed a dramatic slowdown in accessing their favourite sites. Some sites even crashed as they believed they were under a Denial of Service attack. Having spent a fortnight without access to news, millions of Egyptians headed straight for the Spoof bringing the popular satirical news site to its knees before crashing it completely.

"It was a nightmare," said Mark Lawton, CEO of theSpoof News Inc. "I was checking over the glut of American and Australian stories that always manage to come in while I take my daily three hours of sleep when all the lights went out, and I started getting error messages from my server in hieroglyphics. Actually, it could just have switched into Wingdings mode, it's done that before now. It's difficult to distinguish."

Fortunately for the rest of the world, as the lines out of Egypt collapsed under the strain, the Egyptians were cut off again, allowing the rest of the world to tend to their Farmville crops and show their backsides across Skype once more.

"We're sorry," said Oranje. "We'll try not to let it happen again. There's more to this running a country lark than we realised."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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