Liquid nitrogen should do the trick crude boffins tell Gulf of Mexico well disaster team

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 30 May 2010

image for Liquid nitrogen should do the trick crude boffins tell Gulf of Mexico well disaster team
Trouble below? Send in the liquid nitrogen!

San Ramon, Ca - (Crude Mess): Blasting liquid nitrogen into the shattered Deepwater Horizon wellhead should do the trick Chevron's head of fractional distillation said today.

The advice was issued as BP's efforts to stem the Deepwater Horizon leak with mud failed to stop the disastrous gush which is polluting much of the Gulf of Mexico coastline.

The liquid nitrogen trick should have the effect of turning highly viscous crude oil into a heavy jelly, today's report suggests.

This would be far easier to control than the current liquid torrent that's turned much of the Gulf into a toxic soup.

At atmospheric pressure liquid nitrogen boils at 77 K (−196 °C or −321 °F). Allowing for some adjustments in the maths at 5,000ft below the surface of the sea the crude could even gel into a semi-temporary solid.

This could then be scooped up out of the water in blocks much like icebergs, scientists have said.

Among its many other uses liquid nitrogen is used in cryotherapy for removal of warts, for cooling a high-temperature superconductor to a temperature sufficient to achieve superconductivity and in the cryonic preservation of humans and pests (sic).

Industrial usage includes as a coolant for vacuum pump traps and in controlled-evaporation processes in chemistry.

A quick check of its oth4er properties shows its use is superb as a method of freezing water pipes in order to work on them in situations where a valve is not available to block water flow to the work area.

The substance needs careful handling however as it can generate a huge amount of force if liquid nitrogen is rapidly vaporized.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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