Sex addiction is no more an illness than an occasional craving for chocolate, according to globally respected Trick Cyclist Borge De Grootgroot.
The controversial claim is likely to upset many people, particularly the likes of Tiger Woods, Bruce Willis, Don Johnson and Long Lank Sally from Scranton, PA who have all claimed to be sufferers at one time or another, and equally harmful to so-called sex-therapists who make money by treating this and other associated illnesses.
"What does this guy know anyway?" Sex Therapist Dolores Dampcrotch flamed. "He's a trick cyclist fer Chrissakes! A Goddamn circus performer! He don't know nothin' about sexual malfunction. It's totally irresponsible of him to come out with statements like this regarding a subject he knows nothin' about!"
De Grootgroot scoffed at such comments and lashed back at critics, saying:
"Because I ride a bicycle, that means I don't know nothin' about sex?" he challenged. "Hell, I got seven kids, so don't tell me I don't know bout sex. I know where to put it, and I know how to shake it up a storm. Damn fine feelin' it is too. But every time I get a little wake up call from the guys down there manning the torpedo tubes I don't invariably follow my animal instincts, grab the nearest female and hump the butt offa her. Because I am not a sex addict! Nobody is! Because SEX ADDICTION is not some mysterious illness. There's no such damned thing as sex addiction. It's a myth."
We left the final word with Tiger Woods:
"I don't know if I'm a sex addict or not. I can only say that since I started in therapy I'm down from forty a day to between eight and Elin - I mean eleven. It works for me!"
More as we get it.
