Assholism Promoted by Internet Anonymity, Scientists Say

Written by rewinn

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

image for Assholism Promoted by Internet Anonymity, Scientists Say
Anonymous posting on the internet (illustrated)

Internet venues that allow anonymous posting promote a personal and group assholism, according to a study by the Institute for Internet Studies (IIS).

"If your name or your face is connected to what you post on the internet, you naturally have a tendency not to be a jerk," said a spokesman. "It's just like in everyday life; we have natural filters in our brain that edit out outrageous and meaningless statements, which enable actual conversations to go on.

"But if you can hide behind a handle like BiggusDickus or IBeatUpLibs, the barriers go down. You pour forth whatever boils up from the muck in the lizard part of your brain with no common-sense filtering whatsoever. You can actually get a buzz similar to alcohol or meth, but completely risk-free except, of course, the forum becomes completely useless as a means of discussion."

Reaction was swift and angry.

"Fukkkk yuo!" posted BigBeatr69.

"YOUR A COMMUINIST!!!!" denounced LibCrusher44.

"Our forum actually received a great many more such comments," stated the Institute's webmaster, "But those were typical of the ones least likely to get us in trouble with the FCC were this report to be broadcast. At any rate, it doesn't matter exactly what is posted; the basic meaning is roughly the same: they all state that the poster is an asshole. The only variation is in the precise words employed and the degree of overuse of capital letters."

"Our anonymous forum is now completely garbaged up with this stuff and useless for actual discussion of our work," said the Institute's spokesman. "This is not a problem; we are transitioning our business model from scientific study of Assholism into treatment and damage mitigation. Our first step is to create a forum where genuine assholes can spend their time posting, instead of wandering the streets and bothering small children."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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