Joe McElderry - The Backlash Begins

Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

image for Joe McElderry - The Backlash Begins
When You Rage At A Machine Long Enough, It Starts making Squeaky Noises. Fact.

It appears that the great British public are up for yet another fight, this time against Simon Cowell. An internet inspired backlash against the master chart manipulator has led to thousands of net users downloading Rage Against The Machine's track in a concerted effort to prevent Cowbell from having another Christmas number one.

Which leaves poor ickle Joe from South Shields sort of stuck in the middle.

"Nothing against Little Joe" (wasn't he in Bonanza? - ed) one internet site administrator told us. "I'm sure he's a nice enough lad. It's a protest against Cowbell and his cynical pop chart manipulation. Contributors to my site told you all weeks ago that Joe would win, and that he'd become Cowbell's commodity. And they were spot on!"

A spokesman for Rage Against The Machine told us that they were still raging against the machine and that the machine has started making funny squeaking noises.

In related news, Stacey Solomon nearly broke her ankle at the wrap bash because she was wearing stupid assed shoes and a gynaecologist in Worcester was accused of touching up a patient and making her knees buckle as he stimulated her to an orgasm on his examination couch.

More as we get it.

* With a thanks to Abel for the 'related news' bit at the end. His story format, not mine.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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