Pharmaceutical Company Develops Pill That Is Both Male Contraceptive And Treats Erectile Dysfunction

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for Pharmaceutical Company Develops Pill That Is Both Male Contraceptive And Treats Erectile Dysfunction
Little purple pill plus men's pill equals huge popularity

Squid Technologies, a Canadian pharmaceutical company based in Toronto, has announced the development of a pill that will fill duel roles. The small pill will act as both a male oral contraceptive and a treatment for erectile dysfunction (such as Viagra).

Tablets, to be marketed as Safe-agra, have been tested in a double blind study in Vancouver for the past eighteen months. Results of the study graded the medication with a 99.5% effectiveness rate and a 99.8% satisfaction rate (from both men and women).

The drug has the result of killing all of the sperm in the male within ten minutes of ingestion, also removing any D.N.A. markers withing the semen and leaving only ejaculate fluid. It also gives the exact same results as the popular Cialis and Viagra pills (and other brands) and comes with the same four hour erection warnings.

The pill, however, does have a few detractors among women's groups. Gloria Steincowitz of N.O.W. (the National Organization of Women) said "What's next? Are they going to combine this with ruffies so that you can drug a woman into a stupor, get an erection and rape her, and then have no resulting child to worry about, and no way to find the man?"

Complaints aside, Squid Technologies offices in Canada, the United States, and London have been flooded with phone calls and messages from interested men and women. Marketing analysts believe that distribution of this pill will be the most popular medical development of the past 100 years, passing such similar inventions as the Pill and Viagra (and also Rogaine). Thousands of men have said that they would be "up to giving this a try."

Fifteen diffferent manufacturing companies are scheduled to begin working around the clock to produce enough pills to meet the demands. Contacts are in negotiation for additional companies around the world.

Sales are expected to begin after government approval and the anticipated date of distribution is April 1, 2010.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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