Busted sports injuries doc in Tiger Woods Actovegin probe

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

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No suggestion that beleaguered golf champ Tiger Woods' doc ever injected him with any such crap

Canada - (Propofool): "They're purely homeopathetic medications," Tiger Woods' knee injury consultant Dr Tony Galea commented today on allegations he imported a banned substance.

The sports injuries specialist was speaking to reporters about his October arrest when a consignment of the Actovegin remedy was seized from his offices.

The drug contains traces of calf sperm and is used extensively to counter bullshit remedies such as the 2-aminoethanesulfonic acid Taurine.

There is no suggestion that beleaguered golf champ Tiger Woods was ever injected with any such crap.

But speculation has begun to mount on his legal drug use after a World Anti-Doping Agency probe into sport stars' injury recovery routines.

This has come down heavily on Taurine which is used extensively in the treatment of feline dilated cardiomyopathy.

"That's the science word for big cat heart problems," WADA's Dr V Smartt explained today, "maybe also romance-related."

The drug is also used to treat advanced as central retinal degeneration in big cats - "think love-is-blind!" - feline hair loss and memory lapses.

Recent research has focused on Taurine and birdie development according to golfing medical sources.

One gram of the stuff currently retails around $5,000.

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