Cocktail Waitress Julie Postle - Yet Another Tiger Tigress Comes Out

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 15 December 2009


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The lobby of the Grapefruit Pulp Motel In Orlando, Florida

HOUSTON - The latest "Golf Gate Girl" to come on out of the woodwork is Julie Postle who presently lives in Houston, Texas.

The 26-year-old Postle first met "TigerMan" when she was working as a cocktail waitress at The Rockin' Rocky Rock 'n' Roll Night Club in Orlando, Florida.

The Kelli Pickler lookalike said that when she first saw Tiger Woods she had no idea who he was. She said that the club manager did keep the place dimly lit. So as far as she was concerned Tiger Woods was just another one of the patrons.

She said that he ordered a Corona Light Beer. She brought it to him, and he paid for the drink and placed a golf ball on her tray.

Postle asked him what the hell was he putting the golf ball on her tray for. He told her to read the ball.

She looked at it and told him that it said Titleist. He laughed and told her to turn the ball around. She did and noticed that it had a phone number on it. He told her that it was his private cell phone number.

Postle still did not recognize who he was. She remarked that why the hell would she want his phone number. He raised his eyebrows and asked if she knew who he was.

"Not an idea in hell" she replied.

"I'm Tiger Woods." He stated proudly.

And Julie replied, "Well sorry, I really don't know much about hip hop rappers."

Tiger laughed and told her that he was not a hip hop rapper. He told her that he was Tiger Woods...Tiger Woods the greatest golfer in the history of golfing.

Postle just smiled. She was not impressed in the least. She then asked him if he wanted some more beer nuts. He grinned and asked her if she would like some golf nuts.

She got highly offended and told him that maybe he better leave before she tells the bouncer that he is acting just like some damn rapper who thinks that he can just saunter in here and start offending people like he owns the place.

Woods saw that she was serious. He apologized and gave her a $20 tip. She took it and said "apology accepted."

She went to the back of the club and called him on her cell phone. He answered it and she asked to speak to Tiger Woods. He asked who was calling. And she replied that it was the beautiful sexy blonde who he had asked if she wanted to see his golf nuts.

He told her that he would wait around until closing time. He ordered another Corona Light and a side order of Macho Nachos.

He walked over to the jukebox and played three songs by his favorite band The Black Eyed Peas.

At 2 a.m. they both left and she followed him to The Grapefruit Pulp Motel where they talked about golf carts, golf courses, and his amazing golf putter.

In other news. 77-year-old singer Cher says that she has decided to come out of retirement and record her 40th album. She says that it will be titled, "Cher Sings The Wonderfully Historical Songs Of Francis Scott Keys."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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