Tattooed Nudity and Free Beer at San Francisco Art Expo

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Struggling to bring local visitors and out-of-state tourism back to the downtown San Francisco area, city officials have enlisted the Lytoomi, Sellum and Hawking Advertising Agency to head up this year's Fisherman's Wharf Art Expo promotions.

Announced just this past weekend, two lesser known alternative rock bands will be featured at the Expo, appearing both Saturday and Sunday afternoon. "Tattooed Nudity" will appear between Noon and 2:00 PM and "Free Beer" takes the stage at 3:00 PM. However, the full page newspaper advertising and roadside billboards make no mention of the fact that the promotion features musicians as opposed to a promise for a good time.

Justin Lytoomi, President of the advertising agency tells reporters, "Yes, we needed a hook to bring people into the city, and this was it". Asked if the agency might be liable under truth in advertising laws, Lytoomi responded, "Believe me, there's plenty of tattooed nudity down on the wharf every day, and as far as free beer is concerned, we'll just hand out a few cans here and there".

Disappointed visitors to the Art Expo can see the bands on the boardwalk near Pier 39. Based on previous reviews for both bands, attendees may have to work hard to discern between the band's vocals and the barking of the seals on the Pier's nearby floating platforms.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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