PAYSON, AZ - According to Dr. Blacken E. Ye, head astronomer at the highest telescope in Arizona Mercury is quite the "iron planet".
Nasa's Messenger probe has spotted what look like crushed clunkers on the surface of the planet. These iron rich 'deposits' probably resulted from the excess amount of iron available on Earth after the 'cash for clunkers' program destroyed the engines of many good cars. These cars were still taking up space, so they were sent into space.
Prior observations revealed tiny amounts of iron on Mercury.
Scientists saw the cars after drinking a case of diet orange soda in an aspartame eating contest.