CHICAGO – (Satire News) – A corporate executive with the huge home improvement retailer has just revealed that it will no longer sell grass fertilizer. Miles F. Furshetta, 63, who is the company’s director of Customer Relations and Possible Lawsui…
Science Town, USA Donald Trump made an announcement today that he wished to purchase the planet Mercury. "I had my people do a title search and it appears that it is not owned by anyone. I therefore claim the right to purchase the planet. I should...
MOSCOW - The Russian News Agency, Vodkavich has just announced that Russia's premier satellite Siberia 7 has just sent back some astonishing photos taken of the planet Mercury. A spokesperson for Vodkavich said that 17 of the 19 photographs clearl...
NEW YORK CITY - A team of the world's leading space scientists have just disproved the commonly held belief that the planet Saturn has a ring around it. Team leader Dr. Heinrich Von Heinrich stated that for decades everyone has believed that Satur...
Washington - It's bad news for the Romney Campaign as millions of undecided American voters head for the polls under the influence of a rare astrological aspect on the day of the US presidential election. Tuesday sees Mercury, planet of communicat...
Concerns grew once again on the humanity of breakfast TV presenters as strange discharges found on the well known sofas has been identified as mercury. MI6 have taken the extraordinary steps of sealing off the studio until further searches can be...
Following his flawed toast to the Queen of England following his nostalgic revisiting of his roots in Ireland, President O'bama continued his clueless knowledge of International Protocol by presenting Her Majesty with a gift wrapped case of CFL's f...
NASA's Mercury Messenger Probe has finally achieved insertion around the planet Mercury, one of the most hostile environments in the solar system. Messenger is one of NASA's usual attempts at an acronym: MErcury Surface, Space ENvironment, GEoche...
Over-doses of mercury found in birds (as in feathered kind) are turning them into homosexuals! A survey was made amongst a flock of White Ibises (pretty gay anyway) in Florida and their gay behaviour was caused by large amounts of mercury found in...
PAYSON, AZ - According to Dr. Blacken E. Ye, head astronomer at the highest telescope in Arizona Mercury is quite the "iron planet". Nasa's Messenger probe has spotted what look like crushed clunkers on the surface of the planet. These iron rich...
NASA are trying to arrange a manned mission to Mercury even although most scientists say that life could not survive on the planet because of the lack of oxygen and the intense heat. Mercury is the closest planet to the sun and if you could stand...
The Government has announced that cars that are over ten years old 'most probably' contain Red Mercury, a substance that many scientists say does not exist. But it is widely thought that it can be used to find treasure, ward off evil spirits or even...
Following the many corporate big pharmaceutical funded scientific reports telling us that mercury in our vaccines is highly nutritious and beneficial to our brains; many celebrity chiefs have started to add it to their dishes.
Never mind moaning about the cost of living, the cost of dying is set to soar!...
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