Washington, DC - President Odama announced today that a new economic stimulus program is to begin Monday. In his prepared statement to the press he stated, "People? Are you tired of carrying dollar bills around only to run out of money? Are you tired of spending money only to have it wind up in the pockets of rich fat-cats? Are you tired of seeing the dollar depreciate?
"Well, bring your single dollars to your local post office. They will burn them right there for you. For every single you bring in to burn, you will get a nice new ten dollar bill.
"Just as clunker cars pollute our atmosphere, single dollar bills pollute our economy. They clog cash registers, fatten wallets, and even throw backsides out of kilter.
"People, we can solve this problem."
People heading to banks today were disappointed to find that the banks were closed. All the bankers were lined up at the post office.
