Glasgow, Scotland - No. Not an exclusive download a song for just 99 cents record deal, but a new "Give Susan Boyle a Makeover" application. That's right now you can download an application onto your iPhone that lets you give that singing spinster from Scotland the makeover you think she so badly needs.
"It lets the average Joe like Susan Boyle take a crack at being a fashionista from the fashionable West End," said Frederick of Fabulous Fredericks Style Salon in Salisbury. "I've transformed the dowdy looking dolt from the doldrums into a dazzling daring doll at least a dozen times, darling."
With the "Give Susan Boyle a Makeover" application downloaded onto your iPhone you too can finally pluck Boyle's signature polygamist compound wife number thirteen mono-brows, turning them into two clearly disguisable individual set of eyebrows.
"Oh man," said an iPhone owner who downloaded the new application. "It's so satisfying to finally take a pair of tweezers to that forehead. It was like popping sheets of packaging bubbles."
"Its brought me hours of enjoyment, it has," said a bloke from Scotland about the new iPhone application. "There's nothing more I like than rearranging some bird's face, particularly one that sings so well. Only now, I don't have to worry about the neighbors complaining about the noise anymore, calling the police. And it's so much more fun than the 'Baby Shaker' application, too. Although, to tell you the truth, the little woman still misses that one, and so do the kiddies."
Programmers at Apple, makers of the iPhone, say you can still count on them to keep delivering more new and politically incorrect innovations.
"But you better snap them up quick," cautions an iPhone software programmer. "Because apparently there are a lot of so-called adults out there without a sense of humor or appreciation for satire, ready to make a cause out of anything or lead a movement anywhere but here."