In an amazing new discovery yesterday, scientists at the Hoover Institute for People Posing as Yellowbellies (H.I.P.P.Y) found a way for obese people to use their own body fat as gasoline for their car. This amazing new technology allows fat people to get rid of excess fat, then use that same fat to not exercise in their car.
The Chief Yellowbelly explains the situation to Spoof News as, "An amazing new way to lose fat, and then gain it right back as you wait in the McDonald's drivethru line for a half hour." Another scientist is quoted as saying, "I've been working on this project for nine years, and I'm glad to fianlly test it out on a harmless little rabbit."
The testing of this fat gas will begin shortly. Scientists expect several cute bunnies and adorable guinea pigs to die in the experimenting, but, as a third Y.B. was heard to say,"Nothing shall stand in the way of science!" (Shortly afterwards, he committed suicide)
The car, dubbed "The Fatmobile," is expected to hit the production line in 2012, assuming any auto companies will be alive to produce it.