Cure for Alzheimer's

Written by Roy Turse

Friday, 23 January 2009


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In a combined UK/US study, Vitamin D has been found to stop the effects of Alzheimer's. The US section of the study investigated 20,000 old people and compared the effects of Vitamin D supplements in a double-blind trial.

The British part of the study was based on the fact that one of the highest concentrations of Vitamin D is found in oily fish, and that oily fish rarely, if ever, exhibit signs of Alzheimer's.

Dr. Dee Mensha, Head of Clear Thinking at the Alzheimer's Trust, said yesterday "We've known about this for some time. However, we can't just give everyone who has Alzheimer's a course of Vitamin D - there are thousands of jobs at stake."

Mrs. Wilma Myndgo, 87, from Hendon or possibly Norwich has been eating large portions of Jordan's Credit Crunchies, a cereal high in Vitamin D but low in GDP since September, and claims that her Alzheimer's has completely gone. "They don't believe me though", she said.

Meanwhile, a spokesperson from one of Britain's most successful pharmaceutical companies, Animal Pharma, stated "It seems highly unlikely that a vitamin that comes free in food will prove to be any good when compared to a very expensive prescription medicine."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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