God has said that he' love a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake. The divine being made the off-the-cuff remark while walking his dog in the park yesterday.
"Id love a nice cup of tea. Lots of milk. No sugar. And a lovely slice of chocolate cake", bellowed God as he picked up his dog's shit.
This is not the first time God has made demands.
A few thousand years ago, God told his good friend Noah to build a lovely ship and pack it full of two of every animal. Noah did as commanded but fucked up by missing out on several species and practically every dinosaur.
Then there was the time God told Abraham to sacrifice his young son.
"Oh, that Abraham was a gullible fool", chuckled God, "He nearly went ahead and did it. Not a very smart man, our Abraham, not a very smart man at all".
In turned out that God's devoted and long-suffering wife Edna eventually made him the cup of tea but she made him buy the cake himself on the way home as well as a bag of sugar and a box of washing detergent.
God said he'd just make his dog Jesus II fetch it next time when he sends him out for the paper.
