Virginia used to be for lovers but at the VD-RP-HO (the Virginia Divine Retribution Pharmacy, Hospice and Orphanage), lovers are left with only a Natural Family Planning gift box with fertility testing lithmus paper, a basal temp thermometer and a guide to the sexually frustrated Catholic couple.
The Pharmacy refuses essential reproductive health care. No birth control pills, no IUD's , not even condoms can be found amid the aisles of St Jude's salve for herpes sores, rosary beads for HPV, St Jerome's cold compacts to reduce sinful lasciviousness and the ever popular pedophilia prevent penile pump and holy water ablution.
The one stop shopping center for religiously ill advised, religiously ill and the babies they didn't mean to make while practicing abstinence only is busy day and night with abandoned children, dying AIDS sufferers and other Catholics who don't know any better.
