Scientist today released a report which has said that they have conclusive proof of life from Mars. And apparently it's right under our noses.
After scientific tests, scientists have concluded that aliens from Mars have been sending down agents for ages disguised as politicians!
Apparently the agents have been disguised as politicians because nobody normally pays any attention to them. and they are in positions of power.
"That way they can gain control over our world making us ready for the eventual invasion. they are waging war on each other to weaken our armies so that they are too weak to offer any resistance to the Martian forces," said one of the scientists who headed the study. "However some of the Martians our malfunctioning, as in the case of George W Bush who's language translator is starting to play up causing him to stutter and mix words up in his speeches"
Our political correspondent S. Debar managed to gain an interview with George Bush to get his reaction to the reports finding. He said:
"Worp worp, blargdy blar blarg.... oops sorry about that. right now. this findings report is unfunded. the scientists who report wrote this have no idea what they talking about are"
Hmmm... Suspicious. probably, but I cannot say anything against George Bush, or for that matter any politician, in case the Martians do land, find this report and hunt me down.
Another scientific report released in 2005 by a man named Lance Broughton has said:
"Perhaps it's not surprising that the weak-minded humans we appear to be assume that there is life in outer space. In the scheme of things, planet Earth is a mere kitten compared with aliens from the future. Billions of light years away, it's logical to assume that they are of a vastly superior mentally. Why else would they invade our world and offer guidance if we were their equals? Therefore, it's our duty to obey them for the betterment of mankind. These aliens are known as politicians. Why would aliens call themselves politicians if they didn't know everything?
"The alien politicians have been on earth for a long time and since the advent of modern communications, their influence has increased beyond accountability. They insist we give up cigarettes and booze because they're bad for our health, yet demand we attack other races to bring them in line with their political thinking. The politicians must be worshipped with "no other Gods before them". Therefore, mass slaughter of the wrong God- worshipping humans is now the accepted norm."
