Company introduces new 2 in 1 taser/dildo; will demonstrate at electronic trade show in Vegas

Funny story written by King David

Sunday, 6 January 2008

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Demonstrations of the new taser/dildo will be given at the International Consumer Electronics Trade Show in Las Vegas.

Wavering, Arizona-based company, Taser Provincial announced its new product today, the taser/vibrating dildo. The C5 taser/vibrating dildo is different from other models in that it is designed take care of all bedroom needs instead of possibly just one. Depending on which end is used, it can provide its user hours of uninterrupted fun.

"We want people to feel safe," said company spokeswoman, Sally Smith. "But we also want to sell a product that's going to be used frequently."

Tasers have been around for several years said Smith.

"We wanted to tap into a market of users who want practicability and need them to do other things," says Smith. "It's like asking the police department to only give out tickets or stop violent offenders."

The C5 rechargeable taser/dildo sells for $375.00 and comes in a variety of colors including hot pink, scintillating yellow and burning African brown. The plug-in recharger is included.

Company officials say that they are now selling in 43 countries and several law enforcement agencies including the North Carolina Highway Patrol which has been in the news this year after several officers have been charged with sexual assault.

The C5 taser/dildo is shaped like an electric razor on one end and a rubber penis on the other. The trick is to turn the nightstand light on before you use the device to be sure that you are using the right end.

"We've had lawsuits from users who used the wrong end," says Smith. "They couldn't get back to sleep for days."

The C5 which is small enough to fit into the average purse, has been criticized by Amnesty International and The Porn Actors Union (PAU). Both organizations have criticized the company's assertion that the weapon is non-lethal. However, the PAU says that it is a handy device for their workers after they use them on themselves to use on producers to get them to pay more money for the deal.

Smith says that Taser Provincial is planning to hold demonstrations of its new product at the International Consumer Electronics Trade Show in Las Vegas. The trade show, which runs from January 7-10, is the world's largest tech trade show. It will be held at the Casino Royale.

Smith says that the company is planning to hold demonstrations in a bedroom set on the show's floor.

"We feel that if anything else customers will want to come see the live sex show," said Smith. "The other message we want to send is that our tasers are sexy."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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