Hubble, Dubbya, WMD shock

Written by Dan Holmes

Monday, 16 February 2004

image for Hubble, Dubbya, WMD shock

The Hubble telescope has enabled scientists to observe the most distant object in the universe so far detected by man. Scientists at the California Institute of Far-fetched Phenomena today announced that despite recent problems with the mirror of the Hubble Dubbya memorial kaleidoscope and Puzzle-O-Scope they have seen definite evidence of Weapons of Mass Destruction.

"At first it just looked like some kind of smudge on the lens" explained Professor Kyle Lingerie, Chief of Staff at the Hubble Thingummy. "But Shep Harden, our boilerman and window-cleaner, who happened to be up there cleaning out the flues, noticed that the smudge was in fact in a different galaxy altogether. Just then his dime ran out so we had to empty our pockets - and thank jingo we did. ‘Cos there it was!"

"Oh, gosh, ‘tweren't nothing," joshes Shep as he shuffles his Kickers. "All I did was look at the right part of the sky. A bit of spit on a kerchief was enough to clear up the fuzz, and next thing y'know there was Saddam Hudson's face on a almighty big rocket, marked "Present for Dubbya" and with a picture of - who's that Guy? Old feller with the turtle neck - no, not sweater. Rumsfeld, that's the dude. Picture of him on the side. I think it said "Supplied to Eye-rack courtesy of".

It is expected that an inquiry into Nasa's funding will be launched anytime soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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