Mars Bars to be added to Calf's Stomachs

Funny story written by carina-eta

Thursday, 17 May 2007

image for Mars Bars to be added to Calf's Stomachs
Bernard Matthews Chocolatey Twizzler

Dairy farmers have today revealed plans to add liquidized Mars Bars to calf's stomachs in an attempt to produce chocolate flavoured beef.

A spokesman for the Dairy and Beef council of Great Britain today confirmed that trials have started within the U.K to inject gallons of liquidised chocolate byproducts into cattle. Currently animal foods have reached an all time cost high and farmers are struggling to find the money for various types of animal feed. Following a sudden down turn in chocolate consumption, particularly brands such as Mars Bars, Twix and Maltesters, it seems it's more cost effective to feed the cattle chocolate.

The spokesman continued, "The market has changed, kids are brought up on a diet of coco-pops, chocolate pop-tarts and choc-o-milk, surveys across the U.K indicate that kids would happily eat chocolate flavoured beef."

Bernard Matthews is also said to be considering attempting chocolate flavoured chicken following recent drastic losses at his turkey farms across the world, his latest marketing ploy "Genetically Modified Chocolatey Twizzlers" having done well recently.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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