Washington D.C - The Army Corp of Engineers announced today their plans to combat the growing issue of global warming and human energy consumption. In a joint agreement with Halliburton, the Corp has been asked to design a 1.8 trillion dollar windmill with a wingspan of a half mile.
When the Corp announced it was looking for funding, Halliburton was quick to make a bit. Halliburton, a long time partner with the United States government, develops and produces many of the army's top long range missiles, including parts for ICBMs.
"The main tower will be a mile tall, thus marking the tallest man-made structure in the world. No longer will the Greeks be considered the greatest architects in the world, both ancient and present," says Corp representative Kyle Lundeen. The structure will be composed mostly of concrete infused with melted automobile frames.
"With this structure, we not only prove ourselves the greatest country in the world, we create a potential for endless, and clean energy. This will allow Americans to continue burning all the oil they want, while not having to worry about competitive prices," says Terry Phoenix, representative for Shell Oil, Inc. "We'll still be able to sell our oil product, and keep those green thumb nuts out of our hair. This form of energy production is flawless and creates zero pollution."
The site for this tower had been under much debate. Trade winds, a vital variable, placed the possible location for the tower in only a few locations. The eastern cost of New York was a possibility. The second is in California, in the center of the Redwood Forrest.
"We already have cool 'America is awesome' landmarks in New York, so we're pressing congress to allow us to build in California. The tower will have minimal effects to the ecosystem once the trees have been cleared. We believe this is the right thing to do" Plans for breaking ground have not yet been scheduled.
