Is your water on fire? What? NO! Why not? Here, at Halliburton, we can show you how to drill and turn water into fire. Fire is what helped Mankind evolve, so fire good, yes? The company once employed Dick “the Slick Trick” Cheney and is now re…
After the investigation into Hillary Clinton's emails has been exhausted, the same investigative team will turn their attention to who in government, (during the Bush administration) gave the green light to make public the name of CIA undercover agen...
Dolly Darling, the President's Secretary, excitedly and fearfully puts the finishing touches to the Oval Office, the new lair of her boss Donald Trump. He would be here shortly and she knows all too well how critical he is that everything should be perfect., or at least perfect as Donald Trump sees it. She knocks some lint off the large velvet rendition of Elvis in day glow colors in full rocker m...
Changes in the stock market have indicated that American de-reconstruction company Hallibertun are preparing for a major venture in the Nile region. Some speculation points toward a hydro electricity plant on the Nile, while others have suggested...
Following another report of passenger plane engine trouble, this time on a Boeing 747, Qantas Senior Vice President, Mick Toomey announced that Halliburton will be employed to manage all further quality control inspections and repairs on its fleet of...
Official notification is hereby given to all citizens of the United States that the government of said land is dissolved and that the entity formerly known as the United States Of America has been acquired in a hostile takeover by the newly formed Corporation of North America. All questions of national allegiance and international relations will now be addressed to the Halliburton America sec...
The wheels are already grinding under the Dick Cheney for Dictator campaign of 2012. The former President of Vice of the United States announced his candidacy at a meeting of Corporations For Keeping America Under Our Thumbs' convention in New Orlean...
Dick Cheney has finally completed his long awaited autobiography 'Mein Kampf II'. Eager fans of fascism have been gnawing their own limbs off and those of Barnes And Noble staff waiting for it to come out. In the new book Cheney describes in excr...
United States Vice President Dick Cheney threatened to resign in a cabinet meeting today from his office (there are only three months left of his term). Cheney stomped out of the meeting and left the White House in a huff. When asked to explain t...
When Johnny McBush-McCain found out that the Democandies had not been to Iraq as often as his congressional (Halliburton) junkets have sent him (he gets his mail there), they decided to make it a threesome...
Cheney's Corporation, Halliburton has been granted multi million dollar construction contracts to erect barriers between the US and Mexico and the Iraqis and the Iraqis in Sadr City.
Harare, Zimbabwe - (AssoCIAted Mess): Up to 600 tonnes of potentially lethal defective military weapons in the Aung San Suu Kyi carrier are heading back to the Halliburton Corporation's Beijing orifice.
(Houston--Texas) Recently deposed House Majority Leader Tom Delay isn't letting the possibility of jail time stop from future political plans. DeLay announced today that he will be relocating to Iraq, and he and Ahmed Chalabi will be forming a po...
The United States Senate issued a subpoena for VIce President Dick Cheney. Cheney, who is actually President of the Senate, refused to take note. "No law or vote is official until I bang my little gavel thingie, and I have no plans to pound it...
(The following document was discovered at the headquarters of Halliburton, recently relocated to Saudi Arabia)...
Still reeling from the incompetence dysfunction, and outright fraud which characterized its response to Hurricane Katrina, the Federal Emergency Management Administration, or FEMA, announced yesterday that they have accepted a bid from Halliburton to...
Washington D.C - The Army Corp of Engineers announced today their plans to combat the growing issue of global warming and human energy consumption. In a joint agreement with Halliburton, the Corp has been asked to design a 1.8 trillion dollar windmil...
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