Assassin’s Creed for Elon’s Coordinates

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 16 December 2022

image for Assassin’s Creed for Elon’s Coordinates
Elon Needs More TV and Beer

Assassination coordinates for someone who thinks people are out to get him …

And now for Black Sabbath’s kickass song, “Paranoid!”

Finished with my Elon
Cuz he couldn’t help me with my Tweet
People think I’m insane
Cuz I stay on Twitter where Elon beats his meat

And as the song continues to play, all of Google can tell me where I am right now.

The Google car just passed by and photographed me taking a piss on my front lawn!

Is my address on my driver’s license?

Does the tax man know where I live?

Why do tons of telemarketers and other scammers know my phone number?

Is there spam in my email spam folder?

Did I put my face on the computer, and my companies, maybe my house, my boat, my skateboard?

Did I do that? (Curse you, Erkle!)

If I go to a public comedy show and get up on stage with a microphone in hand, though I barely use it and ask the comedian what should I say … is there a shooter in the audience?

Should I say more and more ridiculous things to see if someone takes a shot (I am in American, after all, home of the drive-by, the mass shooting, the NRA, and Ted Nugent!)

Should I just kick everybody off this thing I just bought so that no one wants to be on it, and also kill off any competitors like Mastodon, and anyone who links their Mastodon account to my company – mine is better! Cuz I told you so so just do it – I am Elon Trump!

They’re all out there, watching, waiting, while I turn into Howard Hughes and people think I’m crazy, but no … Elon’s not crazy … all work and no play make Elon something something … GO CRAZY?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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