Scientists working at the Mitch McConnell Human Conditioning Center in Louisville, Kentucky, had a bad accident. The Center is doing DNA and Viral research into how to make Voters more loyal to a particular Brand.
It would be really valuable for politicians and Corporations. To turn people into totally loyal customers. Loyal voters could put Republicans in power for hundreds of years. They have already brainwashed about 20% of voters but were ambitious to do it to the Majority of voters.
Anyway, a researcher knocked a Nasal virus, human DNA and Dog DNA, off the lab counter on to the floor - where they mixed.
(Dog DNA has loyalty genes in it.)
Several researchers and techs in cleaning up the mess, accidentally inhaled the mixture - and the Nasal virus - (obtained from Conservative noses) - evaporated and took the mixed DNA particles up their noses to their brain - and quickly mutated, causing new behavior patterns.
The researchers didn't know this till the next day, when the lab TV was on, and a picture of Trump doing a deposition was shown. They all started barking and wagging their butts, while he was on.
A worried lab administrator heard of the trouble, came in and was able to calm them down by patting their heads, and saying good boy.
The Researchers were elated. They had found the Loyalty gene, and how to get it in the brain. The kept throwing the DNA and virus mixtures on the floor but were never able to replicate the results - so went on to another projects Loyalty perfumes for women.
By then, they had to move to new labs anyway, because the lab room and outside hall Walls started really stinking from the male urine.
And when the female tech went into heat, she had to run home, pursued by the whole pack of them.
The Republicans had found the perfect political Weapon. Mitch was despondent.
"Well,” he said, “back to the Same Old, Same Old, of lying and economically sabotaging the Country, until we get another Republican president. Then we just keep lying to stay in power.
“I miss Trump, he was out greatest Liar. "
