DEATH VALLEY, California - (Satire News) - Even the famed Santa Ana Winds could not help to cool down Death Valley.
The valley that was made famous by the old television show, "Death Valley Days," has just broken it's 132 degree heat record, which had been set on a Tuesday, back in 1913.
A California ranger, Nathan Daxasippy, who has lived in Death Valley for 52 years, said that the Mojave Desert river The Amargosa River, which runs through DV has totally dried up and fish screams could be heard for a distance of 1.7 miles.
Daxasippy pointed out that the heat index was 142, and even the rattlesnakes could be heard cussing like hell.
The Death Valley ranger said that he and his desert rangerette Loretta Chubasco, 22, managed to gather all of the fish, which numbered 491, and drive them to the Pacific Ocean, where they were all released and happily swam away .
Rangerette Chubasco, who looks a lot like Sofia Vergara, said that she could literally hear all of the close to 500 fish, giggling, laughing, and doing somersaults from joy.
