Evil gene discovered!

Funny story written by aningeniousname

Friday, 23 February 2007

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Genetically unfit for office?

London- For millenia now man has gazed upon the countless tiny acts of malice, the many varied crimes and atrocities committed, and has only been able to shake his head with a weary mystified resignation.

That was until recent research, being carried out by a team of Cambridge university geneticists, stumbled onto what is rapidly becoming known as the "evil" gene.
The genetic anomaly present to varying degrees in all humans has led many people working in the field to conclude that our genes may be to blame for our propensity to gleefully commit wicked acts.

Dr Ignatius Flockston, head of the Cambridge team, told me about his new discovery and of the possible ramifacations of this startling insight into man's mysterious duality, he said, "Of course research into this discovery is still in its very early infancy; but all available evidence is pointing towards this being a major leap in our understanding of the very nature of man, and as a result of this new knowledge we may in the future be able to develop a clinical diagnostic test able to detect the presence of this gene in the genetic code of any individual."

This will have staggering implications for the future of not only politics and business, but also the often vicious world of show business.
Would our present elite have risen to their lofty positions in the world if the test for this gene had been available?
Would Arnold Schwarzenegger or indeed the cast of Friends have been able to begin their steady climb up the slippery venal ladder of global stardom?

The discovery of this remarkable new gene and the development of a new diagnostic test; May in the future help us prevent the rise of a new Hitler, Pol Pot, Bush or indeed even another Mel Gibson.
But until further advances in the technology are made we can only rely on our inbuilt intuition and the age old maxim, If it looks like a Cheney and smells like a Cheney, then it probably is a Cheney.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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