E-bay admitted it was in trouble last night after a new company challenged the previously untouchable trading site.
Newcomers, O-bey, have scaled the heady heights of internet bargin hunting with an agressive mix of violence and intimidation.
O-bey, brainchild of New York thug, Don Luigi Capone, commenced trading 6 months ago and already controls 70% of the crap market. The New Jersey entrepeneur and convicted arsonist, told business magazine ,'Greedy Bastard Weekly, that the secret to his company's success was that they 'didn't take no shit'.
"If da people don't loike da way I do business den it's coitens for dem. I don't deal with no fuckin' shnooks."
Mr Capone's business partner, Freddie 'Meathook' Bonanna, agreed and added, "Are you wearin' a fuckin' wire, you rat!"
E-bay managing director, Phil McCracken, told us from his hospital bed last night, "I ain't saying nuthin'....ya hear me, nuthin!"
E-bay's success story began when Phil realised that he could take the garbage that people would normally put in the dump and flog it to people that spent their days surfing for porn.
His company made millions, before a series of disasters befell it about 6 months ago.
First, the offices burnt down in a mysterious fire and then several of the management were pistolwhipped and beaten with rubber trunchons. The perpetrators of these crimes were never brought to justice.
