Flat-Earth-Believers believe the sun is God farting white hot farts into the universe!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 28 September 2020

image for Flat-Earth-Believers believe the sun is God farting white hot farts into the universe!
This image proves 'Flat-Earth-Loonies' are right, earth is flat as a pancake like Holland and very Double Dutch!

(NOT EDITED) Global Loonies have formed a new protest for all global loonies to participate in, it's called, "Flat Friday Flatulence!" They have ordered all believers in the "Flat-Earth-Society-Conspiracy-Club' to join hands on Fridays and fart together!

Obeying God's universal farting messages, they will release millions of farts into the Earth's atmosphere because they're convinced the putrid stank will drive millions of unbelievers to run to the edge of their flat planet and, leap off! In addition, if those unbelievers never come back, and plummet into the universe below, it will prove their theory as scientifically correct and God really does exist.

Cabbage, leak, and Brussel Sprout farmers are recording record turnovers in areas where many 'Flat Earthers' reside. Local authorities are allowing protests to proceed because they cannot afford to lock the loonies up in their over-filled loony-bins; it's a Covid thing, which is driving the world mad!

Heathen politicians, too busy with their own loony bullshit, have been asked by the movement to 'pull their heads out of their rear-ends', acknowledge their right of free speech, and join the 'Flat Flatulence Friday' marches. Boris Johnson declined the offer because he only eats Brussel Sprouts Christmas!

Other nutty conspiracy groups are now joining the 'Flat-Earth-Movement' to show solidarity in complete and utter madness.

Here are just a couple:

President Trump is Satan Movement! (Not far from the truth that one)

Kim Jong Un is resurrected Hitler and global Nazis must support him Movement, Sieg Heil!

Covid 19 is not Covid 19, it is just fake news Movement!

'Non-Wearing Masks in Public Movement' demands removing all masks anywhere especially in crowded boozers because downing pints with a mask on is an insult to piss-artists all over the planet and, physically impossible!

Etc, etc!

The 'Loony List' is endless and future Fridays will never be the same ever since global loonies were let loose on our flat planet! (Or is it really round?)

PS: And Jaggedone believed he was a fucking nutter!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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