Written by Jaggedone

Monday, 26 March 2018

image for Chocolate covered Maltesers prove the world is flat not round!
Earth is flat as this image proves alien Malteser lovers are telling the truth, a thing politicians just cannot do!

Giant chocolate producers, Mars (not on Mars), have finally convinced the world that the world is flat, and in honor of this great discovery, they have decided to issue a 'flat' version of Brits favorite 'round' choco snack, Maltesers!

There were a few technical problems involved because honeycomb tends to be full of holes and getting enough holes in a flat Malteser was a problem! However, they overcame that by replacing the honeycomb holes with black-holes that are real, but nobody has ever actually seen what a black hole is apart from the ones left in teeth after consuming too many Maltesers.

Another major problem was asking bees to produce flat honeycombs, but, bees being very clever insects, started producing honey in the horizontal instead of the usual vertical positions found in bee hives!

Mars, received confirmation that the earth is flat from aliens who visit our planet regularly, and are lovers of guess what, Maltesers! In fact on Mars there is no chocolate, sugar or rotting teeth, so they visited Mars HQ here on earth, and a Mars scientist asked if the earth was really round or flat?

The answer was obvious because how on earth could they land their UFO's on a round surface?

The old round Malteser is now to be renamed; Mars-Teasers and promises to be a massive hit among Nutters who really do believe the world is as flat as as a Dutch pancake!

The great unknown question is; why did the aliens not land in Holland? The place is as flat as a pancake and they taste quite nice too!

Great secrets pertaining to our wonderful planet, it's existence, creation, and eventual destruction, are not to be found in a God, but chocolate covered flat balls!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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