Unpaid Blog Writer Screams Desperately While Being Pulled Away From Laptop

Written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 26 January 2019

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Dane County, Wisconsin. In a case of technology and chatting capabilities going completely wrong, Michael Winston, 38, was pulled out of his apartment room last Wednesday by a gorgeous female with voluptuous breasts, firm thighs, and long-flowing red hair.

Sensing that he was lonely, and that no woman had ever properly made love to him, the steamy, sensual, 43-year-old cougar pulled Michael off of his computer chair, and forcefully made wild, passionate love to him for hours upon hours in her beautiful, well-established mansion.

Kicking and screaming as he was being drug across the carpet of his barren apartment, containing nothing more than ramen noodles, two cans of 'Natural Ice' beer, green peas, and some expired, organic, cheesy Italian beans, Michael clawed desperately at the carpet with tears in his eyes, as he was being taken away from writing a blog article that had the potential of gaining 3 to 4 hits.

Because of his careless and whimsical Facebook chatting, a friend of a friend thought that he was intellectually interesting before she internally decided that she wanted to completely raid his body with all of the pent-up sexual desires that she still had inside.

With all-absorbing love around him, richness, and the promise of everlasting companionship, Michael still absent-mindedly sits up all night wondering if his blog ever got any hits.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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