In a press release today, the Cleveland Clinic in conjunction with several other teaching hospitals around the country announced that they had successfully implanted I-Pads in human fetus!
"What is amazing," said Dr. T. J. McCorkle of The Cleveland Clinic, "is that each one of them started to text message at 5 to 5 ½ months! They not only have started to text their parents but the other implants as well. It is a red letter day for the human race and for the dumbing down of all mankind!"
The first of the recorded text messages according to Dr. McCorkle, came to a couple in Cleveland Heights, Ohio when they received a text message in the middle of the night. According to the couple,their I pad pinged at 3 AM and was after they had spent an amorous hour together. Startled, Mrs. "M" who prefers to remain anonymous, picked up her I pad and the message read: "OMG! LOL! That was a hoot! Talk about riding the Wild Monkey! Let's do it again!" After that Mrs. "M" stated the texts have been unending.
The fetus which we are calling Baby "K" has informed his mother that he is also texting other fetus and among other revelations has made arrangements for meetings with them!
"Mom, I met this cute thing at fetusmeetus.org, gotto go see her!"
"Mom, I'm tired of riding the Wild Monkey here in Waterworld! OMG, it only lasts a couple of minutes and then it's back to trading water again! Geeesh! Besides, it seems like the other guys have bigger monkeys to ride! What's up with that!? HA! HA! HA!"
"Did you get me a bike yet?
"When do I get an upgrade for this thing? I don' I can't even get the Browns games!"
"Are we going to Disney World? Everyone else is!"
"Mom, am I going to be breast fed? Everyone else is! Do I get a choice of flavors? HA! HA! HA!"
Mom and Dad, I'd send you a selfie, but it would probably get you arrested! HA! HA! HA!"
Baby "K" who now has over one million followers on Facebook and twitter published a statement late today on Facebook which reads in part, "I am sick and tired of being bored! I am going on strike! You won't have Baby "K" to kick around any longer until I get a womb with a view!"