Evolution Confirmed in Lost Bible

Written by Chip Roundstone

Saturday, 9 August 2014

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JERUSALEM- Archaeologists have discovered a lost book from the Christian New Testament, allegedly confirming the principles of evolution.

The work was found in a cave near the city of Jerusalem. Entitled the 'Book of GEROM', (Genetic Evolution via the selection of Randomly-Occurring Mutations) the work has puzzled archaeologists and religious scholars alike.

Linguists have begun translating the text. The opening of the book seems to strike a blow at both religious creationism and atheism.

"Hey guys, God here. I just wanted to let you know that whole book of genesis thing was actually an elaborate metaphor. Sorry to lead you on. Here is how it really happened"

Both Atheists and Deists alike have condemned the work. In a joint-statement they called the finding "Rubbish" and plan to "Ignore the development, regardless of any conclusions drawn."

The Society of Agnostics could not be reached for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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