Boobs, Butts, and Beyond! Cellphones Condemn Current Selfie Craze

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Thursday, 7 August 2014


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Three of the candidates for selfie czar

The cellphones made their feelings known yesterday at a noon demonstration in NYC's Times Square. A mix of tourists and native New Yorkers observed the proceedings. The former were startled, but the latter merely looked resigned. The natives have seen it all -- and then some.

The first speaker was a cellphone named Sam. On little spindly legs he walked with confidence up to the mini podium. He pointed out, "At first, things were okay in the selfie world. Fully dressed folks smiling shyly into the camera. But things quickly disintegrated. Everybody's disrobing. Topless, bottomless, sometimes both. It's become boring and disgusting."

The second cellphone speaker agreed. "It wasn't so bad when there was just a touch of nudity, a little peek into the forbidden. But, good grief, that's all changed. Now they're letting it all hang out! It ain't pretty. Something's got to be done."

The third cellphone speaker (a cute little pink number) had a suggestion. "We need a selfie czar to monitor this situation and bring some dignity back to the world of selfies." The crowd of cellphones roared its approval. Ms. Cellphone continued: "I think a nun would make a fantastic selfie czar. Nuns are smart, bossy, intimidating, and efficient." Another roar of approval from the cellphone crowd.

Leave it to a woman to sort the whole thing out.

John Lennon knew what he was talking about when he said, "As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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