Written by Ossurworld

Monday, 14 January 2013

New England's Patriots sent out Rob Gronkowski before his forearm was fully healed, and he reinjured it, forcing a second surgery in two months. He will miss the Super Bowl.

Gronk wanted to play, but was that decision wisely allowed to be made at by the flake star? When young players not much older than 22 make career-impacting choices, should the coaching staff take some culpability?

A few media insiders are now claiming that Gronk is like a delicate unicorn from The Glass Menagerie. If he drops the wrong way, he is broken beyond repair.

Gronk certainly shares many characteristics with a unicorn-but his delicacy may not be on the same par as another Tennessee Williams character, Blanche du Bois. He is more like a character from Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice.

Called a "freak of nature" by his soul mate Aaron Hernandez, Gronk appears to have run into the real laws of physics. His bones are not made of some magical titanium material, and he cannot survive with impunity.

Gronk may be a freak, but nature has called him mortal after all. He is not a member of the League of Justice. Gronk is not an extraterrestrial from the planet Krypton.

If you prick him, does he not bleed? He is fed with the same food, and hurt with the same weapons as other people. He is subject to disease and subject to heat and cold. If you break his arm, is his season not over?

Gronk is human after all and has paid with a pound of flesh.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
85 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more