Former Eagles Coach Andy Reid is Danny Ozark With Bigger Tits

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

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Andy Reid is (former Phillies Manager) Danny Ozark with a different-shaped ball. And huge, pendulous boobs.

I am So SICK of hearing that Andy Reid is the winningest coach in Eagles' history. That speaks more to longevity than accomplishment. 

Fred Bruney has a perfect winning record as Eagles coach, he never lost a game. Want him back?

Rich Kotite has a better post-season win/loss record. Want him back?

He's Danny Fucking Ozark. In fact, Ozark has a BETTER regular season win/loss record than Reid. 

And he shit the bed EVERY YEAR in the post-season. And he was chased outta Philly by an angry mob with pitchforks and torches.  

The regular season is a means to an end: an entertaining product that buys a team's way into the playoffs and an eventual Lombardi Trophy. 

He's had a bunch of regular season wins: Great, I'll commence shooting bottle rockets out of my ass to celebrate that achievement. 

However, he's had FOURTEEN opportunities to win us a Super Bowl. And he and his team found new and different ways to shit the bed and not make it happen. 

Andy was great at mediocrity. 

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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