Anti-biotics 'have little effect' on holds

Funny story written by Joe Leff

Friday, 21 December 2012

The winter may be peak season for wrestling bouts, but there is no point in taking anti-biotics to strengthen the holds that wrestlers use on their opponents.

Indeed, say experts, free from anti-biotics, wrestlers with a rasping cough and a belter of a sneeze might add a bit of punch to a Pile-Driver or Gorilla Press.

In recent years, many wrestlers have been taking anti-biotics, partly because they think it is a 'socially acceptable' drug, but mainly because they believe it strengthens arm-holds and masks pain.

However, scientists have now cast doubt on such beliefs.
In an international study, 500 wrestlers were randomly picked up, hurled down on a mat and knelt on by GPs, who gave them either an anti-biotic or a placebo.

Later on, the two groups of wrestlers got their own back on the doctors in the wrestling ring by applying their most powerful holds - such as Torture Rack and Jack Knife.

Little difference was found in either severity or duration of holds.
Those given anti-biotics reported more side effects, according to the report in the Medical Section of Wrestling Times.

"I was alright until I started taking anti-biotics," said Hulk Hogan, "but now my right side really hurts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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