Lost and don't know where you are? There's a map for that

Funny story written by IainB

Sunday, 19 February 2012

image for Lost and don't know where you are? There's a map for that
A leaked picture of OS's latest device, Globe

The latest patent from the British company Ordnance Survey has rocked the electronics world with it's ruggedness, versatility and ease of use for locating a location or finding a route to somewhere.

"OS have come up with this incredible concept," said Irene Store, manager of the Apple iStore (yes, she did name it after herself). "It's lightweight, compact and easy to use. We at apple are scratching our heads wondering how we missed such a simple idea! It's genius."

Ordnance Survey's new device has simply been called map.

"We're seeing if it infringes on our app trademark," said Ms Store. "Currently our lawyers are working on it, but it doesn't look good."

Ordnance Survey claim that the 'map' works with any mobile device with an inbuilt compass, or, indeed, with a compass. More importantly, it will work underground, on snowy days and in areas with no mobile signal. Such as Canterbury.

"We don't know how they did it," said Store. "The patent doesn't make it clear. But somehow, this map can help people find their way from one place to another, or pinpoint the person's current position to within ten centimetres. Which is unprecedented accuracy."

Ordnance Survey have remained tight lipped on the technology behind the map, but have said that several versions of maps are available for different areas, covering the whole of the UK, with plans to cover the rest of the world shortly. Different versions of maps have been gathered together into an easily transported device known as an atlas. Plans have already been revealed for a three dimensional map of the whole world that Ordnance Survey have called, simply, globe.

"I've tried to download map from the Ordnance Survey website so I can examine the competition," said Store. "However, it keeps asking for my address to deliver it to. I don't want to let Ordnance Survey know where I live. Although, given how amazing this map thing is, they probably already do!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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