Losing Control? There's an app for that

Funny story written by IainB

Sunday, 12 February 2012

image for Losing Control? There's an app for that
The app can also help, should you need to count the number of fingers you have.

Anger issues have plagued many people over the years, but now there is a solution. The iControl app from My Way Apps can be downloaded to defuse those annoying situations.

"Many is the time that I've been stood in a queue at the Cheese Wheeze, or got the wrong coffee from BarStucks," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "I could feel my blood pressure rising faster than the cost of a loaf of Zimbabwean bread. Now I've got iControl, I'm in control all the time."

When the app owner is in a situation that makes their blood boil, they start the app.

"What it does," said Buck, "is counts to ten in a soothing voice."

Buck gave a demonstration of the app.

"One," said the pleasantly modulated female voice from the iPhone. "Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten."

Buck was immediately calmer.

"This is fantastic," he said. "I am now ready to face whatever problem I have to face with grace and good nature. It's almost hypnotic."

Detractors of the app complain that counting to ten is something that any five year old can manage, but Buck disagrees.

"I've been using my iPhone for so long," he said, "that I've forgotten how to do basic things. Such as count to ten. Having an app that can do this for me is one less thing for me to worry about. It's money well spent as far as I'm concerned."

This is especially true in high pressure situations.

"When you need to get your thoughts together," said Buck, "Having your iPhone take care of the mundanity of remembering what comes after six is a god-send."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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