Japanese request a licence for more whales

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 16 January 2012

image for Japanese request a licence for more whales
One blue whale can supposedly feed 1500 people, but can it? An experiment is needed

The Japanese have requested of the International Whaling Commission (COW) to harvest three times as many whales in 2012 as they harvested in 2011, and hunt just short of two hundred and fifty whales.

"We've done a lot of research into just about every aspect of the cetacean," said Nikki Saki of the Japanese Institute of Cetacean Examination Institute (NICE). "There's a new area of research we have left to conduct. Unfortunately, we will need more whales than normal."

The area of research NICE want to conduct is in cuisine science.

"Our researchers have been busy theorising on how whale meat would taste in a wide variety of sauces, and using a whole host of different cooking methods," said Saki. "We've got a really nice Teriyaki that we think would work with a light fricassee blue whale steak, but we're not sure. We'll have to experiment."

The International Whaling Commission and it's militant gastronomic wing, are considering the request to up Japan's quota for 2012, weighing in the fact that the Japanese will want several of each species, including the incredibly rare Common Whale.

"We could let them take more Rare Whales," said COW chair, Hippy Beaneater. "There's loads of those. Really didn't have a clue about naming whales did whalers. Poor humpback doesn't have a hump for instance, and the right whale is illiterate. Pilot whales? To big to fit in a plane. And sperm whales? Don't get me started."

Without a direct and immediate 'no' from the Whaling Commission, culinary scientists all over Japan are conceiving experiments to test their theories regarding how much whale they can sell in one year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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