Written by DJC

Monday, 2 January 2012


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image for Whales mimic stricken vessel
It's about time - whales finally start to contribute to their own survival

In an unusual display of solidarity for it's stricken protectors, a small gam of whales have formed a protective circle around the a stricken Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (SSCS) vessel. The MV Brigitte Bardot was hit by a rogue wave in the Southern Ocean on 28 December and is heading back to Fremantle in Western Australia.

Known to have a one of the largest brains - as well as penis' in the animal kingdom, it is thought that this is the first time that this sort of behavior has occurred.

Captain Stu Bing was interviewed for the forthcoming SSCS campaign to give his first hand account of this incredible and unprecedented event.

"It is about time that these lazy, slow, stinky bastards start to pull their weight." Captain Bing remarked. "I'm here getting paid jack-shit to freeze my arse off and be bored 90% of the time. The other 10% you are shitting yourself while ducking for cover as those bloody Japanese throw empty Saki bottles and copies of Kenny G's latest album at you."

The MV Steve Irwin is enroute to the trimaran and it is not yet known whether the vessels in reserve, the MV Bear Grylls and MV Bush Tucker Man will be needed.

The Brigitte Bardot was named after the 60's icon whose star burned out much too late. A woman whose has combined smelling like animals, racism and not-keeping-your-looks with much skill.

When at the launch, Ms. Bardot was asked to comment by journalists present, she remarked.
"I'm pretty sure that there will be no Muslims on this vessel, I mean, how do they face Mecca to pray on a moving ship!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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