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Funny satire stories about McDonalds

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McDonalds Switches to New Format: Serenading Instead of Food Service

CHICAGO, IL - Steve Easterbrook, CEO of McDonalds, announced in a press conference that McDonalds restaurants will stop serving food immediately and serenade customers with songs released by the Disney Corporation. "So, the Republicans, who are ou...

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McDonald's: Thanks for the Weight Loss!

Funny story: McDonald's: Thanks for the Weight Loss!

In Raleigh, NC, Merab Morgan pulled off something astonishing by losing 37 pounds on a diet based solely on McDonald's food. She said, "I thought it's two birds with one stone - to lose weight and prove a point for the little fat people." She...

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McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

Funny story: McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

ANYTOWN, USA -- At McDonaldo's, if you buy anything other than a 1/4 Pounder, you can go pound sand, as far as the freshness of your order is concerned. "We don't do 'fresh,' when it comes to our hamboogers, cheeseboogers, or Big Macks," CEO Ronaldo...

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McDonald's opens in St. Peter's Square: Want Friars with That?

Funny story: McDonald's opens in St. Peter's Square: Want Friars with That?

Vatican City - - Don't give me that old time religion. Fast food leader McDonald's is incorporating nutrition with salvation, locating its next new restaurant in the spiritual heart of the Catholic Church. The St. Peter's Square site was home la...

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What's Behind Lincoln's Face on Mount Rushmore?

Funny story: What's Behind Lincoln's Face on Mount Rushmore?

The 16th president of the U.S. may be known as "Honest Abe," but he's been hiding a secret room behind his face on Mount Rushmore. The room is not accessible to the public, but through the use of long-distance, super duper X-ray technology, an int...

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Chickens Strike After McDonald's Announces All Day Breakfast

Funny story: Chickens Strike After McDonald's Announces All Day Breakfast

Shares of McDonald's stock fell 18% after traders learned that the recently introduced all-day breakfast menu was causing serious labor problems for the world's largest restaurant chain. Trading was hectic on the big board, driven primarily by i...

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Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)

A recent "virulent" rant by Cenk Uygur has gone "viral" on Youtube... Oh, crap. Mere semantics again, isn't it? Anyways, have a look at this transcript. Responses on a snail-card please. Well, yeah, why not? After all highly eloquent and intellectually satisfying responses from Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin have already appeared... So don't be last in the race to the bottom. Still, wh...

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McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

Funny story: McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

Los Angeles, CA - In an effort to keep up with the times and not slide down the grease sewer of bankruptcy, McDonald's is rolling out implementation of their latest marketing gimmick. "We've poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this project...

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McDonalds to Hire 500 Chimpanzees In 250 Test Stores

Funny story: McDonalds to Hire 500 Chimpanzees In 250 Test Stores

A major announcement from McDonald's -who like all companies forced to compete in the global marketplace - is committed to using good old American creativity and resourcefulness to beat China and India at their own game. "McDonald's will be employ...

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McDonalds to Hire 500 Chimpanzees In 100 Stores

A major announcement from McDonald's -who like all companies forced to compete in the global marketplace - is committed to using good old American creativity and resourcefulness to beat China and India at their own game. "McDonald's will be employ...

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Tybee Island Gets New McDonald's Next Door To Current McDonald's

Tybee Island: McDonald's have announced that it is to open a second McDonald's restaraunt next door to an existing McDonald's in the rather odd little town of Tybee, Tybee Island. "Big Mac lovers just can't stand being far from their favorite McD...

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PETA Receives $100M Donation From McDonald's In Exchange For Endorsement

Funny story: PETA Receives $100M Donation From McDonald's In Exchange For Endorsement

Norfolk, VA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or, PETA, received a $100M donation from the McDonald's Corporation in exchange for a gentlemen's agreement that PETA will feature McDonald's menu items in PETA's advertising campaigns. Mc...

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McDonald's Shareholders Meeting Disrupted by Nanny-State Protesters

Funny story: McDonald's Shareholders Meeting Disrupted by Nanny-State Protesters

Chicago- CEO Don Thompson was challenged and often shouted down by some insistent and disruptive shareholder meeting disrupters. A belligerent Debbie Bipolaria, representative of Mothers United in Parental Neglect, accused McDonalds of using popul...

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McDonald's Introduces "Taco" Bell Ad Featuring Burger-Coveting Illegals

LAND OF OPPORTUNITY, ARIZONA -- In a fast food counter attack, McDonald's is launching a commercial featuring 12 everyday illegal aliens from Arizona named "Taco" Bell being arrested by authorities. "My name is Ernesto 'Taco' Bell," said one man f...

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McDonald's Debuts Its New Burger In Honor of California

Funny story: McDonald's Debuts Its New Burger In Honor of California

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest fast food chain has just announced that it has just unveiled it latest burger creation. Company spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta said that after just being on the market for 24 hours the new McVolcanoburger is...

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McDonald's Sales Continue To Slide - The Company May Have To Lay Off Ronald McDonald

Funny story: McDonald's Sales Continue To Slide - The Company May Have To Lay Off Ronald McDonald

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The latest sales reports for the McDonald's fast food chain are in and they show a downward slide trend continuing. Golden Arches spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta informed the news media that a lot of that has to do with the big a...

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Jennifer Lawrence Falls At A Fast Food Restaurant

Funny story: Jennifer Lawrence Falls At A Fast Food Restaurant

BEVERLY HILLS - It appears that Jennifer Lawrence is becoming more famous for her slips, trips, and falls than for her acting. "Trippy" Lawrence, as Michelle Obama has nicknamed her, is noted for having tripped at last year's Academy Award Show wh...

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Fast-Food Employee Fired For Forgetting To Ask "You Want Fries With That?"

Funny story: Fast-Food Employee Fired For Forgetting To Ask "You Want Fries With That?"

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The home office of the McDonut's Fast Food Franchise has just received a report from one of its restaurants. According to spokesperson Nancy Zabeletta, located west of the Mississippi River has reportedly fired one of its emp...

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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